Think it was the (fairly standard) sunday night blues. Chocolate, a bit of sleep and some exercise sorted me out good and proper ;).
It helps that I've gotten the worse day of the week over (monday) and now apart from a clinic tomorrow morning I have a fairly quiet week. I'm using to get on top of things before the maddness of job applications and end of block specialty exams kicks off next monday.
I keep swinging between beautifully calm and visceral panic about the whole job application process. Not so much about the questions which will be what there'll be, and I'll give them my best shot, but about whether I'm making the right decision about where to apply. I'm 99.99% certain I'm staying around here (with the Mersey deanery as my second choice) but every so often I wonder if it'll be the same living here when I'm working. I'm certain its the right decision, just those moments of panic that I still associate with having to be an actual doctor in the imminent future!
Right, I'm going to finish my hot chocolate and watching The Wedding House, which by the way, is brilliantly surreal. The first couple had the cutest wedding vows. *is a big sop*
ETA: I don't know quite whats going on with the grammar in this entry but it can stay as is! Sorry!
Well not really. I got quite a lot of work done and sorted out my chest of drawers which has been desperate all week but ugh.
Feeling very unattractive and meh at the moment. Maybe its because I'm fairly constantly surrounded by beautiful amazing people and theres me, about as attractive as a teatowel. Not even a nice teatowel. More like one of those ones thats been through the wash a thousand times and has suspicious brown stains on it.
I know this probably isn't very true and its likely just the hormones talking but meh. Maybe its because everyone around me seems to be getting into new relationships and theres me, oh yeah, single for four years at the end of this month.
Meh, meh, meh.
I think I just need to get over myself pronto. Maybe if I go the gym a few times this week I'll feel a bit better.
I need to keep reminding myself my life is actually pretty ace, even if its a bit stressful at times.
Could do with a cuddle though.
Right Em, get over it and go to bed. Another long week starts tomorrow. Joy of Joys!
ETA: though thinking about it maybe all these amazing beautiful successful people around me feel like this? I wonder if to other people I seem together and sorted and confident? Ha, if only they knew!
Ok I'm going to stop talking to a box on the screen and go to bed with a book. Exciting life I lead, eh? ;)
- Current Mood: blah
Then we did a bit of patient chasing and spoke to a great paediatric diabetic patient. This girl was a proper shining example of how to deal with chronic illness in a way thats both good for you and good for other people in the same position. So this morning wasn't too bad, all told.
But this afternoon? Urgh. Long long tutorial on Cerebral palsy, developmental delay, Down Syndrome and Duchenne Muscular dystrophy. All quite interesting but your ability to concentrate really falls apart after a couple of hours and by the end it all got a bit silly. Didn't helpt that the Doc leading the tutorial didn't handle questions all that well (a few times she very obviously answered an entirely different question, despite us repeating the question a few times!).
And now? A quick cup of tea and off to Med school for choir. Should be good but I need a bit of a kick up the back end! Hopefully the chocolate should help.
That is all I have to say about today.
In fact, that all I have to say about this week.
Yes, I know its only Monday.
- Current Mood: pessimistic
Pronounced 'sad' it's the half day of lectures we have on a Friday afternoon and I'm there right lat the moment. It's on heart failure (physiology and therapeutics) but my hearts not really in it. (sorry, bad pun time!) I'm tired and a bit hungover and I've spent most of today in lectures and I'm very ready to be over with this week. I do feel a little like I've regressed a few years though as I've done three days of lectures and I've not really done that since my first year here or my last year at kings
Not got much planned for the weekend but I think it's going to be an odd one. Dearest housemate has her new bf here for the weekend so I have a feeling I should make myself scarce for much of the weekend as I have no real desire to be a third wheel!
Right I should probably start listening there's an acute risk I could be asked a question and not knowing what the question was could be highly embarrassing!
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- Current Location:United Kingdom, England, Warwickshire
The original rules:
THE RULES: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen albums you've heard that will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. Tag fifteen friends, including me, because I'm interested in seeing what albums my friends choose. (To do this, go to your Notes tab on your profile page, paste rules in a new note, cast your fifteen picks, and tag people in the note.)
The original 15:
1) Kish Kash - Basement Jaxx
This was the first album my best friend and I really got into when we were in sixth form and it was, and still is our pre-going out album whenever we're together. I'm not the biggest basement Jaxx fan (unlike my BFF) but I love this album and all the associated memories.
2) Funeral - Arcade Fire
Beautiful album. A classic for me when I'm revising or driving or shopping.... basically if I can't decide what to listen to this is what goes on!
3) The Seldom Seen Kid - Elbow
I bought this album when it first came out, listened a couple of times and sort of forgot about it. That is apart from One Day Like This which became an instant member of my top 25 songs ever and gets played whenever I feel the need for a pick up. Then, about three of four months ago I started listening to the whole album and wow, I forgot how good it is! Now its back in regular rotation, and my favourite song now is Friends of Ours, or The Lonliness of the Tower Crane Driver.... or several others...;)
4) Absolution - Muse
Needs no explanation, an epic album. I saw Muse live not long after this came out. It was at T in the Park and the sun was setting and there was fireworks and I might have cried a little bit. I love Muse.
5) The Remote Part - Idlewild
Another beautiful album. Reminds me of my gap year and all the shit I went through then. Live in a Hiding Place is just an anthem for me for that year.
6) Rockin the Suburbs - Ben Folds
It was difficult to pick a single Ben Folds/Ben Folds Five album but this is a great album I discovered late and loved. Got me back into playing the piano and was very much part of the sound track of my final year at Kings. I went see Ben Folds during this year and listening to The Luckiest live is one of my favourite memories.
7) Sigh No More - Mumford and Sons
Had this recommended to me about a year ago and since then I've tried to get everyone to listen to it. Oddly Mumford and Sons got big not long after I got into them, I like to think it was my doing ;). Beautiful, epic, folk.
8) Into Your Lungs - Hey Rosetta
A not very well known Canadian band I discovered because a song of theirs was used on my favourite TV show (flashpoint! Its awesome, you should all check it out. Really good, sort of mixed genre as well. I think everyone should listen to it, in particular We Made A Pact. A beautiful song I really want to learn to play on the piano.
9) Silent Alarm - Bloc Party
This is one of those albums that the minute I put it on it takes me straight back.... for this one its back to my year in industry. I'd put this on my ipod when I was on the tube. It reminds me of rainy autumn days on the metropolitan line out past wembly. And coming home and going to the starbucks in Borders literally 100 yards from my cute, but tiny and untidy one bed flat on Chapel Market in Angel. Man I miss living in london. Sometimes :)
10) Songs from the deep forest - Duke Special
An album my sister hated and I loved, so she gave it to me. I have a feeling it was in my second or final year at kings but its one I keep coming back to. Particularly for Freewheel.
11) Grace - Jeff Buckley
Anthemic (is that a word?) of my teenage years... particularly Hallelujah. Another album my sister introduced me to. Older sisters have their uses.
12) Graceland - Paul Simon
Another one that takes me back. This one was one of my dads favourites so it was always on or he was always playing songs from it on his guitar. Reminds me of being 6-8ish. We'd not long moved into the house we're in now (though it looked very different back then) I remember the awful brown carpet in the big living room and (oddly) the smell of the massive old stereo system we had at the time. (the soundtrack to the last of the mohicans does this for me as well, I have no idea why). Oh and the awful-looking but insanely comfortable blue pinstripe fake-velvet couch!
13) One by One - Foo Fighters
Theme tune (theme album?) to my first year at uni. Love it.
14) Takk - Sigur Ros
This is my old go to album for revision and writing. The lack of real lyrics help and it s just beautiful. Love it.
15) Melankton - Kate Havnevik
Another album not a lot of people have heard. A great Norwegian songstress (again, is that a word?) lovely sort of chilled out electro-pop/soul/folk. The song Nowhere Warm reminds me of one very particular drive; a cold December morning driving to my ESA 3 exams in tears and absolutely certain I was going to fail. (I didn't, I failed the ones a week later ;))
That's the main 15 but there's so so many more albums and artists that mean a lot to me. Ash for example. They make me think of staying up all night writing my GCSE coursework, and Cherry Bomb in particular makes me think of my first love (who turned out to be my second boyfriend... it was complicated!). Then there's the likes of the Killers, who I liked but didn't rate that highly until I saw them live in Hyde Park and the completely blew me away. The Goo Goo Dolls.... my first big time crush at Uni (that didn't go anywhere, he was and still is gay, and is now one of my best friends :)). Snow Patrol who I will always love, and often come back to. The there's the musicals, Jesus Christ Superstar, one of the first shows I worked on. And Wicked, and Rent, and Hairspray....
Basically I see music as a sound track to my life. I almost always have something playing. Even when I shower and brush my teeth. Often when I listen to albums I'll listen non-stop to them for a few weeks then won't come back to them for a few months. Some come back repeatedly, some never do.
So, what are all your favourite albums? Tell me what you think I should be listening to, I'm always up for discovering new music.
- Current Mood: thoughtful
Just had a quick read back over my journal and pretty much every entry is 'I really need to update more!'
I'm apparently a bad blogger. Real life is a pain in the arse like that isn't it? Well, I have a big-ish post planned for tomorrow and then I'm going to try and make myself update every couple of days. If for nothing else then because the next year will be (fingers crossed, touch wood etc etc) my last year in full time education and a massive period of change and I feel like a need some kind of permanent record as it rushes by.
In that vein; heres a brief bit of today. Myself and Emily v.2 spent the morning going over and practising histories on adult patients which is going to become a weekly session hopefully so we'll be nice and slick by finals. I spent my afternoon in a clinic in stratford (at a hospital I found completely by accident whilst lost looking for it). It was a dull clinic though, patients not turning up, long gaps and a consultant who appeared to not be a big fan of conversation. Oh well, at least it was over quickly. Then I went to body definition and instantly regretted it, as my thighs now keep reminding me! I'm just thinking of how nice and toned I'll look. Eventually!
And now, bedtime. Out for a hack tomorrow morning with laura and the girls followed by ethics lectures and choir. Should be a good day :)
So what am I up to?
I've just started my final year and I'm on my paediatric rotation (about with I know literally nothing, I don't think I could even pick up a baby without dropping it at the moment).
I've applied for my first 'proper doctor' job, about which I'll hear on tuesday. its an academic job which I'd *love* but I realise I might not get it, so if I don't its into the main UKFPO application round next month. Joys! And oh yeah, finals nine months away. How utterly terrifying!
I've also just done the Revue, which was *amazing*, I even got to make filthy filthy jokes, on stage, in front of members of med school staff! I even threw my cane at one of them (it was a mistake, I promise! And I didn't hit them!). The post revue blues hit hard yesterday though, I'm really going to miss it and all the people in it.
Love life? Well, theres no point talking about that, its non-existant, as per usual.
And thats pretty much where I'm at I have a feeling I'm going to need an outlet in the next few months so it might as well be here.
As an aside I followed the whole drama with the reposting thing but I'm not fussed enough to deal with the change over to dreamwidth, way more effort than I can be bothered with!
- Current Mood: good
Sa wah dee kah!
That's Thai for 'hello' and possibly goodbye. It's very confusing, there's four different ways to pronounce each of the 44 letters in the Thai alphabet which means pronunciation is very important as usually at least two different meanings to each word which means we can't pronounce anything! We've finally learnt to pronounce the name of the hosptal at least though I think sometimes the taxi drivers wilfully misunderstand us!
Things in the hospital have gotten a lot easier everyone been really nice and they don't expect me to know a huge amount. There's even an American doctor here though he's been away this week at a conference so i'll meet him next week. I got to inject a shoulder this morning which was a little scary as they were all foe letting me do it unsupervised but I Asked
someone to watch to make sure I did it right!
We haven't done much touristy stuff yet because of the red shorts but there's been no trouble just loud! We drove past it in a taxi the other day and it looks like a festival like Glastonbury or something and we've not heard about any trouble. They are noisy at night and as it's
relatively close to our hostel so we've bot had much sleep over the past few days which is tiring when you have to get up at 5.45am! One touristy thing we did today was go to Jim Thompsons house which is a beautiful antique Thai house h built from 6 traditional Thai houses. It's like a
little oasis in the middle of Bangkok.
Bangkok crazy, really interesting though. Theres really expnsive houses right next to shacks. There's also a huge amount of selling goes on on the streets and when you walk down the soi's (the little side streets) you can see into all the houses (they almost look like shops, they're completely open at the front sometimes it's hard to tell the difference!) and almost all the people cook ouside. Everythings built over each other and there's nearly no free space. It's a bit different to the otherside of the city we went to today which is the business district and much more westernised. That reminded me more of las vegas. There's still street sellers
everywhere though. We get taxis most places as they're safe and really cheap (costs us 50baht to the hospital, about a pound). We got a tuk tuk on the first day but haven't since as they don't feel very safe and are a bit of a rip off. We went on the river ferry at the weekend which was cool as you get to see a whole different side to bqngkok (which is enormous!).
We go down to the main tourist road near us (khao San) most nights for dinner or the nicer more chilled soi rambuttri over the road which is nice. We also went for Japanese last night with emilys dad which made a change from the Thai which is nice but gets a bit repetative. Food is
really cheap,in fact pretty much everything is! Since we got here, other than paying for the hostel I have spent less than a hundred quid! We haven't done much shopping or much touristy stuff but we've not exactly been living completely cheaply though! Handily we've found somewhere that does 80baht margaritas ;).
The hostel is really nice, clean the staff are lovely and we ge a nice breakfast every morning. And today we gave them a load of laundry before we left fir work and it was clean and dry when we got home all for less than 70baht each (1.50 ish).
Back to the hospital tomorrow but we're going to the big markets at the weekend so that will be fun!
- Current Mood: tired